PROJECT SUNDAY

Okay so I decided I was sick of looking at my bland clock that blended in above my mantle. I busted out the paint brushes and did something about it. It just so happens that I made it the very colors of my living room (Duh) that I recently changed the colors of.

~Started with this~

~Painted it black~


~~NO LONGER BLAND~~

This makes me happy! Although my camera did not capture the true colors of the frames that are sitting on the mantel. Kind of irritated me but oh well. You get the general idea. See people this is what happens when you have free time on a Sunday and thoughts of HGTV shows run through your head. Moving on to making jewelry tonight while watching Desperate Housewives and Brother & Sisters. Hopefully I can find my tools. This alone will be a chore since they are in a room that you can't even see the floor. I'm not joking! Wish me luck!!!

STARTING MY WEEKEND / JEWELRY

This week has been a rough one to say the least. I decided to get a cup of coffee this morning and thanks to my friend Joyce I got google happy looking up songs on my laptop. Really put me in a good mood. Brought back some happy memories! I listened to one of my all time favorites and decided to share with you. I absolutely LOVED this song when it first came out, Still do. It's called BRING ON THE RAIN by Jo Dee Messina & Tim McGraw. Click on the all caps title and listen for yourself. Pretty much sums up my mood for the weekend to come.

This post would not be complete without me sharing this song too. It was a song I heard by Sara Evans (when Kyle's trouble first started) YOU'LL ALWAYS BE MY BABY. Again click on the all caps title and listen for yourself.
This song has so much meaning behind it for me. Listen to the words, I played it for Kyle one day we both just cried and cried. I love him more than he will every comprehend. Maybe when the day comes that he has children of his own he will start to understand. If you think my eyes are dry as I type this, you are crazy.

I am going to gather my composure and make this day an enjoyable one. I've got friends coming over this afternoon to meet up for a little shopping trip. Saving them some major bucks on name brand perfume. Hey, I'm a FREAK about my perfume collection so I might as well pass some of it on to my girlfriends too. Besides that's what friends are for, right?

I might even bust out the jewelry making stuff and make me a new piece or two. I could not tell you the last time I have done this. Maybe it will do me some good to run to a bead store I have not been to in a long time. It's a newer store and she has her shop set up sooo stinking cute. Sounds like a plan to me! I did not see a website but she does have a blog. ARTWORKS BEAD STUDIO You can also find her on facebook NINA BROWN. I'm a fan. Matter of a fact, I noticed she started carrying some super cute hats too. Go check her out sometime.

Hopefully this is the beginning to an enjoyable weekend for everyone. Go do something that brings you joy & happiness.

**UPDATE** Diana and I ended up getting to go visit Nina after all. I could not be more excited about the beads I picked out for a project for myself. Diana actually picked out something she wants me to make for her as well. Nina was so super sweet. Just darling and VERY helpful. She even allowed me to take a pic of something she made so I could kind of work off of it. I plan to play off her pattern making some adjustments of my own using different style beads and a tad different color. I never make necklaces with 2 or more strands but I saw this and felt challenged. I don't know why I just never do those. When I see them on other people I LOVE THEM. I know I am strange. So, I am totally going to attempt this. Here is a sneak peak of what I am basing this project off of so you get a general idea:
Now this has a chunky peace sign and that is not my thing so I picked a piece that suits me better. I promise to post pics of both mine and Diana's jewelry when I am finished.

** THANKS AGAIN NINA FOR ALL YOUR HELP AND SPENDING SO MUCH TIME WITH US **
I LOVE YOUR STORE AND LOVE THE FACT THAT YOU HAVE SO MANY UNIQUE PIECES TO CHOOSE FROM!

FORGIVE ME IF I HURT

Day started out better than average yesterday. I truly thought this could be the light at the end of the tunnel approaching. Then like a violent storm on a sunny day things changed. I feel like a pile of bricks were thrown at me ~ aimed right for my face. It was instant, I felt paralyzed by sadness! I did my usual form of dealing with adversity. I sobbed the entire afternoon and entire evening. I resorted to my old/comfortable habits that loom entirely too close to me. I really hoped and prayed my son would get to come home this year. After the news received yesterday I just don't think that is part of the plan anymore. I could be wrong but my heart keeps telling me otherwise. I wish I could understand just exactly what lesson it is I am suppose to be learning from this entire mess. I know I have to get a grip on the situation and take it for what it is. I tried to reach out to the most obvious person but that did not go so well either. You can continue to ignore while I continue to let go!

As a parent, I naturally want to take blame, try to make the pain easier for others to swallow and patch up the scars and damage that has been done. Maybe the lesson I am learning is I can't do all this alone. Maybe I can't do it at all. Maybe I am truly not the strong person people keep telling me I am. I keep feeling like someone/something has this enormous strength over me and they just keep pressing and pushing to see if I will burst. Tests that I am finding harder and harder to recover from. It's these set backs and tests that keep pushing me over the edge. It's getting harder and harder to just "deal" with on a daily basis. A big part of me wants to just become recluse and trap myself in my house until I am ready to move on. The other part of me continues to struggle with the fact I still have to be a wife. I still have to be a parent to Cameron. I still have to work. I still have to wake up everyday and do my best to make things better. Where is that damn easy button when you need it?

I was told yesterday to keep faith. Really? Please~ someone tell me just how the heck I am suppose to rely on that?!? I think that is just people's way of saying something they think makes you feel better. It's almost funny to me that people want to tell me how to be or what to do when not a one of them have been in my shoes or have a clue as to my pain. I'M ANGRY! I'M HURT! I'M LOST! I'M UPSET! I FEEL BETRAYED! I WANT TO SCREAM! I FEEL PUNISHED ENOUGH! I FEEL MIXED EMOTIONS THAT EVEN I AM UNABLE TO EXPRESS!!!!! I'm trapped and I am having trouble in more than one area of my life. So forgive me now if your toes got stepped on or I said something you did not like. Do I want you to feel sorry for me? NO! Do I think there is anything anyone else can do about it? NO! Maybe, just maybe, if I turned to you in my time of need then maybe I just needed a shoulder to cry on or some form of comfort for my release. I dang sure don't need a lecture or be told how I should feel. Let me tell you that does not help AT ALL. I also heard tomorrow is a new day. Well here it is Thursday and I'm just as hurt and depressed as I was yesterday.

I'll find my way out of this eventually................

FORGIVENESS ~ MY WORD FOR 2010

After a ton of reading yesterday I can across something intriguing to me. I was on ALI EDWARDS blog and noticed she for the last 4 years has been doing something different instead of a new year resolution. I fell head over heels for the idea and decided to adapt the same concept in my life this year. Ali learned about word of the year from a lady named Christine Kane. I have a link to her blog & website set up on my blog. Go check her out. She has a site that you can go to and sign up to receive a free easy to download word of the year worksheet discover tool. I did just that and came across techniques that made me actually put some thought into my word.
I am not listing everything in the worksheet word for word. You really need to make a copy for yourself. I've listed parts of the worksheet and figured if one other person walks away from this challenge and gets anything from it than I did my job of spreading the word. Hopefully it's a positive learning experience for everyone.

1. AUTHENTICITY~ allow yourself to shine through in your word.

2. AWARENESS~ this is key. This means everything in your life can be a teacher- including your own reaction to the things.

3. CLARITY~ (I LOVE HOW SHE PUTS THIS PART IN THE WORKSHEET) Letting go of the how

PART ONE: INTENTION & CLARITY: KNOW YOUR WHY

WRITE THE WORD OR WORDS YOUR ARE CHOOSING FOR THE UPCOMING YEAR.
F O R G I V E N E S S

WHY IS THIS THE PERFECT WORD FOR YOU THIS YEAR?
It's time to let go of so much of the past that has been holding me down.

IF YOU EMBRACED AND LIVED THIS WORD DAILY, WHAT WOULD BE DIFFERENT FOR YOU?
I believe it would allow me to have a greater peace with myself as well as others. Move on to bigger and better things that maybe I did not think I was worthy of.

IN WHAT WAYS DO YOU ALREADY LIVE/EMBODY THIS WORD?
I try to forgive people but I tend to not forget and that only holds me down.

IN WHAT WAYS DO YOU NOT LIVE/EMBODY THIS WORD?
I mean well by forgiving others but rarely forget. Not healthy, I know.

IF YOU WERE TO LIVE THIS WORD DAILY THROUGHOUT THE YEAR, HOW WOULD YOUR LIFE BE DIFFERENT ONE YEAR FROM TODAY? WHAT WOULD YOU HAVE CREATED OR ATTRACTED? HOW WOULD YOU FEEL?
I know overall I would feel better about myself. It would attract a more positive outcome not just to me but my family and those people around me. It would allow me to "move on" for a lack of better words. I think it would life a huge burden I've carried/struggled with for years.

PART TWO: AWARENESS & ELIMINATION: KNOW YOUR TRIGGERS

WHAT OLD PATTERNS OR BELIEFS HAVE KEPT YOU FROM LIVING THE WORD UNTIL NOW?
I hold grudges. I hold grudges with myself and in return neglect things that I should not. I turn to food for comfort in these moments of weakness. Okay so I must have a ton of those weak moments because I have gained A LOT of weight in the last year.

LIST AT LEAST THREE THINGS THAT TRIGGER YOU TO "SHRINK" OR TO RUN IN THE OPPOSITE DIRECTION OF YOUR WHY?
1. Not succeeding on the first try
2. Realizing it's hard to change and not having the energy to push forward
3. Losing sight or focus due to rejection. Giving up when others don't notice
4. Depression setting in and diminishing my self worth
5. Allowing negativity to be my mindset

LIST AT LEAST FIVE POSSIBLE "PATTERN INTERRUPT" HABITS YOU CAN PRACTICE IN THE EVENT OF ONE OF YOUR TRIGGERS OCCURRING.
1. Call my dad
2. Call a friend
3. Go for a walk
4. Pray
5. Write to express my feelings

LIST AT LEAST FIVE NEW PROACTIVE HABITS OR PRACTICES YOU CAN INCORPORATE INTO YOUR LIFE AS MEANS OF SUPPORTS YOU IN LIVING YOUR WORD MORE FULLY, AND THEREBY DIMINISHING THE POWER YOUR TRIGGERS HAVE OVER YOU.
1. Appreciate the fact that I am not perfect (work in progress)
2. Learn I can not change others and move on to what makes me happy or brings me relief
3. Journal or blog as an outlet to release instead of doing so toward other people
4. Start reading daily inspirational quotes, books or bible verses
5. Scrapbook or do a craft to get my mind off the negative and remind me of better times

PART THREE: DREAM BIG: KNOW YOUR VISION

LIST AT LEAST FIVE GOALS - BIG OR SMALL- THAT YOU'D LIKE TO ACCOMPLISH THIS YEAR, BASED ON THE WORD YOU ARE CHOOSING.
1. LOVE MYSELF AGAIN
2. Smile more and enjoy the little things in life such as laughing
3. Have a better definition of self worth ~ See improvement in my health and overall being
4. Express feelings in forms other than yelling
5. Accept people for who/what they are and be able to MOVE ON

WHAT WOULD BE A "HOME RUN' FOR YOU IN THE COMING YEAR? THIS CAN BE A BIG DREAM, AN AMOUNT OF MONEY, A WAY THAT YOU LIVE EACH DAY. WRITE AS DETAILED AND IMPERFECTLY AS YOU CAN!
A home run for me would be seeing my family together again and happy. Accepting each others faults and learning and growing from each other. If we can't all be under the same roof hopefully we will grow stronger while apart. I have a feeling this is going to be a year full of learning from the mistakes of our past and LETTING GO in order to find HAPPINESS!!!!

Final Instruction: Use your voice to seal your intention. I'm doing this by my post now.
I'd love to hear thoughts and feedback. Feel free to email me if you don't want your info posted to the world. crown_jewels@sbcglobal.net

MOTIVATION ~ LET ME COUNT THE WAYS

I am almost overwhelmed by all the motivation & inspiration I am feeling today. So much that I feel the need to post and share with the world. No matter what stage you are, meaning if you are an avid scrapbooker, beginning scrapper or collector you will enjoy these blogs too. Go look at all the samples and be MOTIVATED. ~*~ Be carried away~*~ Get lost in other people's creativity/skills.
*click on the names and titles in all caps to be sent to their site*

A MUST HAVE IN EVERY SCRAPBOOKER'S WORLD IS BASIC GREY SUPPLIES.
Oh my gosh!!! I LOVE THIS LINE. They are always coming out with something new and unusual as far as paper lines go. I am currently taking Basic Grey classes once a month at my local scrapbook store. My girlfriends Nancy Bartling, Chris Crabtree & Diana Hardeman and I did this last year too. I will admit that nothing (on my part) was completed but I have some beautiful kits and started pages that all I need to do is devote time & energy to. They will knock your sock off people. LOVE ME SOME BASIC GREY!!! I have a little different outlook for 2010 when it comes to scrapbooking. I've got some catching up to do. I am looking forward to this weeks class. It's the first one to start out the new year and I bet the paper is cute as ever too. We take our classes at SCRAPBOOKS FROM THE HEART Looking forward to a wonderful class taught by Jennifer. Just so happens she's the owner of the local scrapbook store. LOVE HER! Check out the store blog too! SBFTH BLOG



APRIL MASSAD One would think I "know her", know her as much good things as I have to say about her. I've just been to several of her classes at a sadly to say closing scrapbook store JUST4KEEPS. She has taught my friends and I several stamping techniques. Too many to mention. She is a photographer in addition many other talents. On her blog you should check out her scrapbooking resume. Over the top crazy talented. I've always enjoyed her Technique Tuesday classes. Hopefully she will teach again and we can follow her. I am amazed at how many times she has been published in my favorite scrapbooking magazine. You'll know what I mean after viewing her resume. MISS YOU APRIL.

JOYCE MCCALL
She is an instructor at my local scrapbook store SBFTH. (I frequent this store the most) Not to mention a QUICKUTZ Ambassador. Such a talented, creative, musically inclined, artistic and nurturing person. I could learn several pointers from her. We actually met through sports. My husband coaches her son Brody in football.

LISA BEARNSON
I've met her in person and taken a class that she taught at the Creating Keepsakes Convention in Tulsa. Truly and inspiration to sooo many scrapbookers.

CHRISTY TOMLINSON She is the founder of the scrapbook kit club I subscribe to called SCARLET LIME. Just the most unusual, new, bright, just that needed pop of glitz needed for the best scrapbook kits a girl could ever dream of. Using a lot of brands that I don't see much of at local scrapbook stores. I like her taste/style.

HEIDI SWAPP If you don't know her by name alone, YOU SHOULD! Brilliant. Love her work. Love her AmAzInG sTyLe!! Check out her website too: HEIDI SWAPP

TIM HOLTZ What can I say about this guy?? Loved by many of us fellow scrapbookers. Most know him by Distress Ink. He's a designer and has tons of fabulous instructions listed on his blog. Very useful. I enjoyed his post from April 17, 2009 regarding Transparent Illusions using various mixed media for forms of art.

TERI FODE Another photographer I stumbled across today. I also enjoy her INSPIRATIONAL BLOG

2010 Creating Keepsakes Dream Team ~ some of the members that I enjoy:
LAURA VEGAS
GINGER GRACE
KIM WATSON
ALLISON DAVIS
MAGGIE HOLMES FYI: She's beautiful and a uniquely talented photographer & scrapbooker.

JANUARY ~ STEP 1

Following my baby steps method of achieving my New Year Resolution it's time to set the goal of JANUARY.

CLEAN THE SCRAPBOOK / CLUTTER / CATCH ALL ROOM.
ORGANIZE THE VARIETY OF CRAFT MATERIALS SO THEY ARE EASILY ACCESSIBLE.
CONVERT BACK TO A BEDROOM FOR KYLE / GUEST BEDROOM.

People if you only knew how hard this task will be. I should take a before and after pic just so you will understand. This is something I continue to put in the back of my mind and have for almost a year since Kyle has not been at home.

*PIC TO FOLLOW SOON*

BABY STEPS

THE OLDER YOU GET THE TOUGHER IT IS TO LOSE WEIGHT BECAUSE BY THEN YOUR BODY AND YOUR FAT ARE REALLY GOOD FRIENDS.

Is this true or what? I saw this while surfing the internet this morning and thought what a wonderful topic. Being the new year and all. Seems like everyone wants to reduce body fat this time of year. It will hit again really hard late spring just before people get ready to hit the local lakes. I remember being that girl about 15 years ago.

So it's the 8th of January and I have yet to set any real new year resolution. What's up with that? Not so goal orientated these days. I need to be though so here goes~

TAKE BABY STEPS!!!

There is a lot I want to accomplish this year to get my life "back on track" for a lack of better words. I plan to set monthly goals and making them public might help hold me more accountable. That's part of my baby steps. Breaking them down into 12 months and accomplishing one at a time sure beats setting 12 and failing at them all at once. Sounds good to me!